Mom/Dad Jokes — most commented jokes

- Son: I can't go to school today.

- Father: Why not?

- Son: I don't feel well

- Teacher: Where don't you feel well?

- Son: In school!

- Father: How do you like going to school?

- Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
→ Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The policeman said, "What's he like?"

Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"

"Honestly?"

The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"

The teacher was furious with her son. "Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig." The boy said nothing.

"Well! Do you know what a pig is?"

"Yes, Mom," said the boy. "The offspring of a swine."

A mother of two teenage boys, was constantly being asked to look for things they couldn't find. Most of the time these items were directly in front of them. Seeing her frustration over this when it happened yet again, one of her sons remarked:

"It's not my fault, Mom. I don't have 'parental vision.'"

- Father: I know the answer to your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television.

- Son: I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question.

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.

- Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m.

- Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.