Mom/Dad Jokes — most commented jokes

- Teacher: Why are you picking your nose in class?

- Pupil: My mother won't let me do it at home!

- Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting?

- Pupil: Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!

- Father: Well Son, how are your exam results?

- Son: They're under water

- Father: What do you mean?

- Son: Below "C" level!

Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card.

- What is this 45 in math? - asked her father.

- I think that's the size of the class - she said quickly!

- If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

- One dollar.

- You don't know your arithmetic.

- You don't know my father!

- Fred: I got 100 in school today.

- Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?

- Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History.

- Mother: Well, at least you can add!

- Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round

- Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so!

Boy to Friend: I'm sorry, I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework.

- I'm not going to school today - Alexander said to his mother.

- The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.

- Why?

- Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.

Johnny comes back from school crying and says:

- Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head.

His mother replies:

- No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other children are merely hiding the truth to protect your feelings.