Mom/Dad Jokes — most commented jokes

- Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet?

- Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes!

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, 'Well, you know the Pacific Ocean? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.'

Bill wasn't impressed. 'Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea? My father's the one who killed it!'

A little boy came downstairs crying late one night. 'What's wrong?' asked his mother.

"Do people really come from dust, like they said in church?" he sobbed.

'In a way they do,' said his mother.

"And when they die do they turn back to dust?"

'Yes, they do.'

The little boy began to cry again. "Well, under my bed there's someone either coming or going!"

- What's the matter, son?

- The boy next door said I look just like you.

- What did you say?

- Nothing, he's bigger than me!

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him!"

- I had a funny dream last night, Mom.

- Did you?

- I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.

- Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?

- Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?
→ Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

Why was the lightning bug unhappy?
→ Because her children were not very bright.

Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher saying that Johnny was having trouble telling the difference between boys and girls, and would his mother please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this. So Johnny's mother takes him quietly by the hand upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door.

"First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse", she said, so Johnny unbuttons her blouse and takes it off.

"O.K., now take off my skirt", and he takes off her skirt. "Now take off my bra", which he does.

"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties". Johnny finishes removing these too.

His mother then says, "Johnny, please don't wear any of my clothes to school anymore!"