Medicine — most commented jokes

A friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.

What kind of fish will help you hear better?
→ A herring aid!

- Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone!

- Counselor: Are you choking?

- Lee: No, I'm serious!

One day a boy was drowning in a near by lake. A firefighter swam out and pulled the boy up onto the beach and began CPR. A crowed watched as the firefighter frantically pumped on the boys chest. With great amazement water was pooring from the boys mouth. Each time the firefighter pumped more water came out.
A short time later seaweed started coming out, then minnows, then more water started coming out of the boys mouth. The firefighter feared this would never stop. Just then, a paramedic arrived and quickly ran over to the firefighter and blurted out. "Hey Chief! You better get that kids ass out of the water before you pump that lake dry".

An American, a Jew and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes.

Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Jew and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth. So, of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Jew was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his!"

What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by swallowing 100 pain killers?
→ After two he began to feel better.

- Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces.

- Doctor: Don't worry, I don't expect anyone will notice.

Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly?
→ Because if they were small round and white, they would be aspirins.

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?
→ Saturday Night Fever.

- Doctor, Doctor, you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.

- That's quite enough out of you!