Random joke from this category
Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered.
The older looking one asks the other, "What's your secret? Listening to other people's problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me."
The younger looking one replies, "Who listens?"
A psychologist returned from a confrence in Aspen lodge, where all the psychologists were permited to ski for free. Her husband asked her, "How it went?". She replied, "Fine, but I've never seen so many Freudians slips."
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women?
→ Because when it's time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.
A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"
Psychiatrist to his nurse:
"Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"
What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?
→ A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
→ A mental hospital.
A man took his wife to the doctors.
After a short examination the doctor said
"Your wife's mind has completely gone!"
To which the man replied "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the instructor.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
"Will the father be present during the birth?" asked the obstetrician.
"Nah," replied the mother-to-be, "He and my husband don't get along."
