Random joke from this category
Two children are in a doctor's waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I'm here for a urine test."
- Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
- Teacher: Of course not!
- Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!
A kid at a sleep-away camp wrote home, "Please send me some food. All they serve here are meals."
A little boy is standing at the side of a river, weeping.
His tears are streaming down his cheeks.
An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him.
"What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?"
"It's mean!", the boy sniffed, "My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday!"
"That's awful indeed!", the lady replied angrily, "Your father is a real bastard!"
"Yes", said the little boy, "He had promised to me that I could do it."
To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells her it'll make her fat.
"I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter. Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man.
"If I bite my fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?"
"You'll be fatter than that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl,
"Excuse me, but do you know me?" And the little girl says,
"No, but I know what you've been doing..."
One day a boy asks his dad, "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?" Dad thought for a minute and said, "Come with me."
He took his son to his mother's bedroom, where she was sleeping nude. "Son," he whispered, "see that brown soft furry patch? That is a pussy." The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?" "No!" replied his father. "That might wake up the cunt."
The teacher hears Little Johnny cussing, and gets pissed off.
She goes bitching to Little Johnny's father. She comes to Little Johnny's house and sees Little Johnny fucking a goat in the front yard. She walks in the house and screams to his father "Your son! Your son! He cussed in the school and now....now he's being carnal with a goat in the front yard!" Little Johnny's father goes running out the door yelling, "Son of a bitch! Today is my turn!"
A small boy was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The cop said, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"
"Why do you look so glum today?", the teacher asked young Johnny. "I didn't have no breakfast," Johnny mumbled. "You poor dear," said the teacher. "Now, to return to our geography lesson, Johnny, where is the French border?" "In bed with my mom. That's why I didn't have no breakfast."
- John: I'm glad you named me John.
- Mother: Why?
- John: Because that's what all the kids at school call me.
