Kids Jokes — most commented jokes

Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said:

- Watch out for worms won't you!

The first one replied:

- why should I? They can watch out for themselves.

- Dad, do you like baked apples?

- Yes son, why?

- The orchard's on fire.

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.

- What kind of pie do you call this? - asked one schoolboy indignantly.

- What's it taste of? - asked the cook.

- Glue!

- Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap.

Fred came rushing in to his Dad.

- Dad! - he puffed:

- is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?

- That's what they say - said his Dad.

- Well, give me an apple quick? I've just broken the doctor's window!

Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, "Watch out for worms won't you!" The first one replied, "Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."

Wife to husband as they watch their young son playing:

- He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant.

Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child:

- No, son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible, but I like your thinking.

The accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

- Mum, Mum, Dad's broken my computer!

- How did he do that?

- I dropped it on his head.