Random joke from this category
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver--"PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"
What do you get when you cross a blonde with an ape?
→ A retarded ape.
One blonde to another...
- Have you ever read Shakespeare?
- No. Who wrote it?
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home, dyed her hair, came back again and told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time. A new haircut and new color, a new outfit, and big sunglasses. Then she waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Why was the female blonde confused whilst going to the ladies toilet??
→ She had to pull her own pants down
A blonde named Vikki decides she wants to try horseback riding one day. So Vikki mounts the horse, taps its butt, and the horse starts to take off at a reasonable speed. She is having fun, and decides she wants to go a little faster, so she kicks the horses butt, and the horse goes just a little faster. All of a sudden Vikki begins to lose her grip on the reigns of the horse and she begins to fall off, she starts screaming but the horse seemingly unoticing its rider continues... Now Vikki is grabbing on the horses mane when she beigns to feel tired and her grip starts to fail. The blond lets go of the horses mane, only to get her foot caught in the saddle. So now she is riding along, the horse unnoticing and Vikki's head is beating against the ground over, and over, and over. She almost loses conscience when the Wal-Mart manager runs out and turns off the horse.
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.
He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
How can you tell if a FAX was sent by a blonde?
→ It has a stamp on it.
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building... he suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks: "why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"
The blond answers in a very weak voice: "we wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings"...
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But. what happened to your other ear?"
"The son of a bitch called back."
