Dumb Jokes — most commented jokes

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is battered against the ground again and again. She is mere moments away from unconsciousness when........ ........the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? "Look! they spelled MACY'S wrong.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
→ It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

51 DAYSA bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door burstsopen and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order fivebottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at alarge table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begintoasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondesarrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raisingthe roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in witha picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in themiddle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing aroundthe table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to thetable. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of theCookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asksone of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?

The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondesare dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight.

Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. . .the side ofthe box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days ! "

A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked ashard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three treesin a day.

His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybehis chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was workingfine.

The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"

Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test.

Tester: If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Tester: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?

Paddy: Seven!

Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?

Paddy: Six.

Tester: Good! Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven!

Tester: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?

Paddy : I've already got one rabbit at home!

Did you hear about the welfare doll?

You wind it up and it doesn't work.

Two Italian construction workers were in the field on an extremely hot day working.. the one says to the other "hey how come we do all a da work and he gets all a da money?" pointing to the supervisor. The other says, "I don't know, go ask him." So Guido goes up to the supervisor and says "Hey, how come we do all a da work and you get all a da money?" The supervisor says "Intelligence". Guido says "what is this intelligence?" The supervisor puts his hand on a tree and says "Hita my hand as hard as you can!" Guido winds up and with all his might tries to hit the supervisor's hand. Just as he almost does the supervisor pulls his hand away and Guido hits the tree! The supervisor says "That's intelligence". Still smarting Guido goes back to his co-worker and his co-worker says "Hey what did he say?" With a sheepish look on his face Guido puts his hand on his face and says "hita my hand as hard as you can. . ."

Two guys were out hunting, but they weren't getting any ducks. "What do you think the problem is?" one man asked his companion. "I dunno," came the reply, "Maybe we aren't throwing the dog up high enough."

Yo mamas so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gum ball to come out.