Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

for you girls...

Why is 88 better than 69?
→ You get 8 twice.

Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Just hold it between your knees.

There once was a young Irish woman who went to confession. Upon entering the confessional she said:

- Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

The priest said:

- Confess your sins and be forgiven.

The young woman said:

- Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.

The priest thought long and hard and then said:

- Take seven lemons and squeeze them into a glass and then drink it.

The young woman asked:

- Will this cleanse me of my sins?

The priest said:

- NO, but it will wipe the smile off of your face.

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what's been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She's fantastic, she sucks like a real man!"

What is a man's idea of protected sex?
→ A padded headboard.

Three college students were rapping about who they'd like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. "Never heard of her." his companions protested. "Who is she?" "Why she's just the greatest Italian gal of all, making the headlines in the newspaper," replied the third man. "See, here it is on page one: FIVE DIE LAYING VIRGINIA PIPELINE"

If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on, does a hard sleeper sleep harder with a hard on?

Did you know Sex is a crime?
→ Its a misdemeanor - The more I miss de meaner I get..

What is the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
→ A Slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!