Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

Who makes more money a drug dealer or a hooker?
→ A hooker because she can wash her crack and reuse it.

A prostitute goes to the hospital to visit a colleague who is about to have a heart transplant. She's worried about the friend so she asks the doctor:

- Girlfriend: I'm worried about my friend doc, what if her body rejects the organ?

- Doctor: Well she's 36 years old and healthy. How long has she been in business?

- Girlfriend: She's been working since she was 19 years old but what does that have to do with anything?

- Doctor: Well she's been working 17 years and hasn't rejected an organ yet!

A young kid's in a shipwreck and he winds up stranded on a tropical island. For twenty years he never sees another human being. Then one day a beautiful girl with long blond hair, her clothes half-ripped off, washes up on a piece of driftwood. He explains to her how he existed for twenty years, digging for clams, and eating fruits and berries. She says, "Well, what did you do for love?" He says, "Love? What's that?" She says, "I'll show you." She shows him. Then she shows him again. Then she shows him one more time. When they're finally done, she says, "Well, how do you like love?" He says, "It's great. But look what you did to my clam digger."

Did you know there are serial number on condoms.........

No?.

I guess you didn't roll them down far enough.

Why do women fake orgasms?
→ Because men fake foreplay.

A neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50's, had a relatively minor heart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over. The cardiologist said:

- Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your heart. After you get home, you should have sex 3 or 4 times a week. It'll be the best thing you can do for your recovery.

So after his discharge (from the hospital), Myron tells his wife what the doctor had said. His wife looked at him and told him:

- That's wonderful, Myron! Sign me up for twice.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.

Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says he sure wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe. The other says, "I just wish it were dark."

- Patient: Doctor I'm having trouble having sex with my wife. When I get close enough to her, I get nauseous. When I insert, even an inch or two, I get sick to my stomach.

- Doctor: Hmmmm, that does sound serious. Let me see it.

Patient sticks out his tongue...

Did you hear about the call girl who accidentally made two appointments at the same time?
→ She managed to squeeze them both in.