Clean Jokes — most commented jokes

Where you you fing a dog with no legs?
→ Right where you left it.

There was a little red man who lived in a little red house on a little red street in a little red town. Now this little red man wanted to take a little red shower so he put his little red towel on the little red towel rack. Just as he was about to get in, the little red doorbell rang.

So he put his little red towel around his little red waist and went to the little red door. He opened the little red door and there stood a woman.

Just then a big gust of wind came and blew the little red towel away. The woman screamed, ran accross the road and got hit by a car.

The moral of the story?
→ Never run accross the road when the little red man is flashing.

A lady went to bed and turned out all the lights. Later she awoke and heard a crash, instantly she died of shock. What kind of house did she live in?
→ A LIGHTHOUSE!!!

What do you call a guy who hangs around?
→ Art!

How is a dog's tail like the center of a tree?
→ It's furthest from the bark!

Why did the jellybean jump off the cliff?
→ Because he wanted to be a smarty!

How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced?
→ A Buccaneer!

What did King Tut say to the museum?
→ I want my mummy!

This just in: A well known college professor has been arrested and accused of putting marijuana in the food that seagulls consume. When asked why he did this he stated - "I want to leave no tern unstoned"

We have a tree in our yard, terribly bothered by blight.

We sought professional help and had a tree surgeon come to look at it. In his assessment, he noted that the blight was bad, but he was even more concerned with the deep cracks in the bark.

"In fact," he said, "This tree's bark is worse than its blight!"