Random joke from this category
The president got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "Nice pigs, sir".
The president replied, "These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback hogs. I got one for Hillary and I got one for Chelsea."
The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice trade, sir."
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to call Washington!
- Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!
Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon?
→ Because he was dead!
- I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare.
- William Shakespeare's dead, silly.
- No wonder he hasn't replied.
Who is in cowboy films and is always broke?
→ Skint Eastwood.
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
→ She heard he was a cowpuncher!
What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
→ Old Moo Eyes!
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
→ "Beeflt!"
Last summer, the President and Mrs. Clinton were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. On a venture one day, they stopped at a service station to fill up the car with gas.
It seemed that the owner of the station was once Hillary's high school love.
They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.
As they were driving on to their destination, Bill put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a service station owner today."
She smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the United States."
What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy?
→ If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy.
