Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote:

- I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said:

- I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.

I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.

What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?
→ Long time no sea.

What do you call an elephant in a phone box?
→ Stuck.

Why did the chicken get sent off?
→ For persistent fowl play!

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman?
→ Frostbite.

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
→ Wait until he's finished.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog?
→ A fangfurther.

What kind of snake is good at math?
→ An adder.

A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

- Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days

The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says:

- What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?

- The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!

There where two snakes talking.

The 1st one said:

- Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?

Then the second Snake says:

- Why do you ask?

The 1st one replies:

- I just bit my lip!