Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts:

- Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!

The panda yells back at the manager:

- Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

- A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
→ It was an inn-grown hare!

Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
→ He's the Easter Bungee!

Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?
→ Alike did was stand around making faces.

- Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?

- Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.

- Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.

- Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.

A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why?
→ The rabbit had two b's already.

- All our pigs are learning karate.

- Oh, I don't believe that

- No? Well, just watch out for their chops.

A pig's favorite movie:
The Monster That Ate New York.

A city child came running into the farmhouse.

- No wonder that mama pig is so big - she yelled.

- There's a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!

What do you call a pig with three eyes?
→ A piiig