Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

Why was the man sued by his horse?
→ For palomino-money!

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
→ He was always standing up on the job!

Why was the horse all charged up?
→ It ate some haywire!

A man is hired by the circus to perform a necessary but rather unpleasant task. He is asked to walk behind the elephants in the center ring, shoveling aside their droppings as they walk about. After a rather difficult evening at work, he goes to the circus cafeteria, sits with other workers, and begins complaining about his work:

- It's just terrible work, walking behind those huge beasts and first dodging, then shoveling aside the dung they produce. My arms are tired, my shoes and pants are a mess, and I'll have to shower before I return home, because of the stink.

His friends at work agree:

- Why don't you just quit this miserable job and find something more rewarding to do. You have to have some skills and talents that you can put to use somewhere else.

He looks at them, stunned:

- You know, you're probably right, but I just can't give up the glamour of show business!

A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING. The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."

Why did the bareback performer ride his horse?
→ Because it got too heavy to carry.

A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. "One spur?" asked the saddler. "Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?" "No, just one," replied the horseman. "If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!"

What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
→ A clotheshorse!

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
→ A seahorse!

- You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.

- Well neither can a fence!