Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener?
→ He had a bee in his suit of armour!

What do you call a guard with a hundred legs?
→ A sentrypede.

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen.

- Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water? - Gramma asked him.

- I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma - exclaimed Johnny.

- There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!

- Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!

- Well, Gramma, - replied Johnny - if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!

Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?
→ They got married in the spring.

What's a cow's favourite love song?
→ When I fall in love, it will be for heifer.

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
→ "I love you a ton!"

Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?
→ Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!

What do you call two birds in love?
→ Tweethearts!

What do lovesick owls say when it's raining?
→ Too-wet-to-woo.

How did the octopus lovers walk down the road?
→ Arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm in arm.