Guest
The Woman With Five Legs
Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
→ Her knickers fit her like a glove!
Most commented jokes
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Guest
Spelling Caseway
- Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.
- Would you spell that, please?
- Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.
The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor . . ."
Guest
The Theater Guild
- Information. Can I help you?
- I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please.
- One moment, please. Pause. I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.
- No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild.
- I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.
- Not Theodore! Theater! The word is theater. T-H-E-A-T-E-R!
- That, sir, is NOT the way you spell Theodore.
Guest
Blue And Singing Alone
What's blue and sings alone?
→ Dan Ackroyd.
Guest
The Deaf Mute
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
→ Neither did he.
Guest
The Chicken Crosses Twice
what do you get when a chicken cross the road falls in the dirt and then recrosses
→ a dirty crosser
Guest
Tight Pants
Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?
→ So people can read her lips.
Guest
La Machine
La Machine....vegetables...vvrrrrr...
La Machine....fruits...vvrrrrr...
La Machine....little children...
No mommy, No!...vvrrrrr...
La Machine.
Halloween Costume Party
One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived he announced:
- Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
As the next couple arrived he announced:
- Tarzan and Jane
and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.
- Who do you think you are? - demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS department The doorman asked:
- How shall I announce you?
The man said:
- I'm premature ejaculation
- I'm very sorry sir - said the doorman in obvious shock.
- I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering.
- O.K. - said the professor.
- Just say I came in my pants
Guest
Slapping A Midget
When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget?
→ When they are slow dancing and he tells her how nice her hair smells.