Most commented jokes

How can you tell if a blonde stuffs her bra?
→ They'll be square because they forget to take the Klennex out of the box.

A string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender replies:

- I'm sorry, We don't serve strings

The string, angry, runs to the bathroom and ties himself up into knots until his ends are frayed.

Then he walks back out and asks the bartender for a drink.

- Hey, aren't you the string I just talked to? - The bartender asks.

- Nope - Says the string.

- I'm afraid not. (a frayed knot)

Why can't dogs use computers?
→ Because you can't stick your head out of Windows XP

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire week's wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him:

- How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?

To which he replied:

- That would be fine with me.

Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
→ When they're on their back their both fucked!

If you're an American when you're out of the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?
→ European! (You're a Peein')

And if you really gotta go bad?
→ Russian!

Hey... Did you here about the new Episcopal Church that just opened up?
→ They are so liberal that they have 6 commandments and 4 suggestions.

How many mimes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 2, the trick is getting them IN there.

Gravely ill, the Skipper was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by.

After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway.

- Your husband is very sick - the doctor said. Still, you can do three things to ensure his survival.

- First, fix him three healthy meals a day.

- Next, give him a stress-free environment and don't complain about anything.

- Finally, have sex and oral sex with him every day.

The doctor left and the woman returned to her husband's room.

- What did the doctor say? - he asked.

- I'm sorry, m'dear - she said, but he said you're not going to make it.

A man goes into the optician and asks for his eyes to be tested because he suspected short sightedness. The optician took the man outside and pointed to the sky saying:

- What's that up there?.

The man replied:

- why.. that's the sun...!.

On that the optician said:

- How far do you want to see sir!