Most commented jokes

Your momma so fat when she wears high heels she strikes oil!

How do you open a can of beer?
→ That's not the point - it should be open when she gives it to you!

How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

There were two blonds on their way to Disney World.

When they were getting close there was a sign that read:

- DISNEY WORLD LEFT.

So they turned around and went home.

Princess Diana and Dolly Parton had both died on the same night. When they reached the gates of Heaven they were greeted by St. Peter.

St. Peter said:

- Excuse me ladies, but before I let you in... I must know what you were doing when you died... you see Heaven has become AWFULLY crowded...it's our new policy! He smiled.

- Well...if you must know... I was standing in front of the mirror examining my boobs... - Dolly Parton said.

- And I was going to the bathroom! - Princess Diana said.

- You may enter into Heaven...

St. Peter held the gate open for Princess Diana to pass through.

- WAIT A MINUTE! How come she gets to go and not me?! - Dolly Parton asked.

- Why...don't you know...a royal flush beats 2 of a kind! - St. Peter exclaimed.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
→ A hooker can clean her crack and resell it the next day.

Your mamma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!

One day, little Mikey came home from kindergarten and couldn't find his mother. So he headed upstairs and opened her bedroom door.

To his surprise, he saw his dad stripped naked on top of his mom, who was also naked, both heavily into the sexual act. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continued to do what they were doing.

After a couple of minutes, Mikey asked:

- Daddy, can I climb on top and have a horsey ride?

The dad thinks for a second:

- Of course son, we're a family.

After a couple more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly.

- Hang on Dad! - cries Mikey.

- This is where me and the mailman usually fall off!

"Outside a dog, a book is a great companion. Inside a dog, it's pretty dark!"

If a month would be only 24 hrs long, we would get paid every day and women would bleed to death.