Dyslexic Satanist
Who did the dyslexic satanist worship?
→ Santa.
Most commented jokes
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Guest
Four Monkeys In A Tree
There were 4 monkeys in a tree.
Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
→ It died.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
→ It was tied on to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
→ It got hit by the first two.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
→ Peer pressure.
Guest
Newfie Difference
What is the difference between a newfie and a bucket of shit...
→ The Bucket
Guest
Frog On His Head
A man walks into a doctors office one day with a frog on his head.
He sits down and the doctor says:
- What's the problem?
The frog says:
- Doctor, is there any way you can get this wart off my ass?
At The Dry Cleaners
Monica needed to get one of her dresses cleaned so she takes it to the dry cleaners. The man working there was an elderly man and was hard of hearing.
Monica said:
- I need this dress cleaned.
The man said:
- Come again?
Monica replied:
- No, it's just mustard.
Guest
Spelling Canada
A long time ago, way back then...we used to spell Canada, Cnd.
Why? you ask. Well it's really simple...
It's because we forgot the eh?
Guest
Blonde Friday
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying:
- T-G-I-F (letters only).
He smiled at her and replied:
- S-H-I-T (letters only).
She looked at him, puzzled, and said:
- T-G-I-F again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering:
- S-H-I-T.
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly:
- T-G-I-F another time.
The man smiled:
- S-H-I-T.
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said:
- T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?
The man answered:
- Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday.
Guest
Corny Blonde
Okay, so this blonde is driving by in his red sports car, and he sees another blonde rowing with oars in a cornfield.
Well, he is just absolutely furious and he gets out of the car and yells to the blonde in the cornfield:
- Hey, if I knew how to swim, I'd go right out there and give you a piece of my mind!
Guest
Coming But Never Comes
What's coming but never comes?
→ Tomorrow!
Guest
The Jogging President
One Day The President was out jogging without his guards.
All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumped out from behind some bushes with a gun.
The masked man said:
- Give me all your money!
Unwilling to do so, the President said:
- You can't do this, I'm the President!
The man then replied:
- Oh, never mind then. Give me MY money!