Most commented jokes

Why did the Packers tear up the end zone after a Vikings Game?
→ There was too much "Moss" in it!

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting:

- Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can't help but wonder why they are chanting "Thirteen!" over and over. Could it be that they are chugging beer? Are they perhaps taking turns beating one of the inmates? Maybe they are counting the number of patients that have leapt off of the roof thus far.

His curiosity peaks and he frantically searches for a hole in the fence so that he may see what is going on. Finally, he spots one a few feet ahead. The hole is low in the fence and he has to kneel down to peer inside.

He moves into position and peeks into the hole. As he looks in, someone inside pokes him in the eye! Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting:

- Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.

His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support. At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off.

Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive.

At 8:55 Mary walks into the office.

- I've got a difficult decision - the VP says:

- I either have to Lay You or Jack off.

- Oh? jack-off, - Mary says:

- I've got a headache.

Why does the wind blow from the north in Indiana?
→ Kentucky sucks.

Once there were 3 Chinese mothers in a church.

They always liked to compete with their sons.

- First mother: My son is a priest. Whenever people see him they say, "Oh my priest!"

- Second mother: Oh yeah, my son is a bishop. Whenever they see him they say, "Oh my bishop!"

- Third mother: (after thinking a bit) Well my son is a fat, lazy pig and whenever people see my son they say, "Oh my God!"

Ring Ring...

- Hello, who is it?

- Is your phone number 13498732?

- No.

- So, why did you pick up the phone?

One day a guy went to a grocery store and the bagger boy asked him:

- Paper or Plastic

and the man said:

- Uh...paper I guess.

Then the bagger boy said your total is $56.35. The man took out his wallet and said:

- Real or Counterfeit.

How many Kentucky basketball fans does it take to roof a house?
→ Three, if you slice them really thin.

Little Johnny walks into his mother's room and catches her topless.

Mommy, Mommy, what are those? He says pointing to her breasts.

Well, son, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.

Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen. Mommy, Mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!

What do you mean? Says his mother.

Well, she's out in the garden shed, lying on the floor with both of her balloons out. Daddy is trying to blow them up for her and she keeps yelling, God, I'm coming! God, I'm coming!

A Horse walks into a bar: "Hey buddy," says the bartender, "why the long face?"