Women Jokes — most viewed jokes

New Summer Seminars for Women

• The Auto Hood Release, What Is It And Why Is It There
• Life Beyond Shoes
• Money, The Non-Renewable Resource
• How To Get 90 Minutes Out Of An Hour
• Why Men Don't Like Any Of Your Friends
• How To Be A Victim Of Marketing
• How To Get Out Of Bed Without Waking Up Your Man
• Is There Really Enough Makeup In The World
• How To Get The Most Out Of A Garbage Bag
• Cigar Smoke And Its Benefits
• Clocks And Time: The Mysterious Connection
• Tupperware: Its Social And Environmental Drawbacks
• Where To Look When Your Auto Is In Reverse
• Learning When Not To Talk, And Then Not Talking
• How To Avoid Turning Into Your Mother
• Quality Time: When You And Your Husband Should Spend Time Apart
• Beyond The Front Page: Exploring The Daily Newspaper
• How To Accept Criticism or When To Give Up On Cooking
• Telltales Sounds Associated With Auto Collisions
• Toilet Paper And The Loss Of The Rain Forests: The Vital Connection
• When Ignorance Can Be A Blessing: Household Finances And You
• How To Keep 'Em Guessing, or: 101 Ways To Fold A Towel
• Talking And Driving: There's Got To Be A Way

The seven kinds of passionate women

1. The Optimist - "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
2. The Pessimist - "No! No! No!"
3. The Confused - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!"
4. The Asthmatic - written rendition of gasping
5. The Sprinter - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!"
6. The Religious - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"
7. The Mathematician - "More! More! More! More!"

• 17: Wine Coolers
• 25: White wine
• 35: Red wine
• 48: Dom Perignon
• 66: Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

How do you pick up TWA flight attendants?
→ With a fishing pole!

Why are men like blenders?
→ You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

The way to a man's heart is through his feet (but you need a long knife).

When the milkman found a note on one of his customer's doors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart, he rang the bell.

"Sorry to bother you, ma'am," he said, "but are you sure you want sixteen gallons of milk today?"

"Oh, yes," said the lady of the house. "I'm going to take a milk bath."

"Do you want it pasteurized?"

"No, just up to my tits would be fine."

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?
→ The cake jumps out of the girl.

What do you call a 300 pound woman in Minnesota?

Anorexic

• 17: 17
• 25: 25
• 35: 35
• 48: 48
• 66: 66