Red Indian Jokes — most viewed jokes

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?"

The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed." So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a VERY cold winter?"

"Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

Did you hear about the Indian who drank 200 cups of tea?
→ He drowned in his TeePee!

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer.

After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do... Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you'd like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver.

Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says... "Nothin', but did you know you left your injun running?"

Who is the Lone Aardvark's faithful Indian companion?
→ Tanto

A Texas cowboy got a visit from his cousin who lives in the east.

He thought he would show his city-slicker cousin a local Indian tribe so he could see how they were "one with the land".

The cowboy and his cousin come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. The cowboy stops and says to his cousin, "You see that Indian?"

"Yeah," says the city-slicker.

"Look," says the cowboy, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction!"

Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."

"Incredible!" says the cousin to the cowboy.

"This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. AMAZING!!!"

The Indian looks up and says...

"Ran over me about a half hour ago."

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"?

"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.

Then he asked "Why is my sister named Cornflower"?

"Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied.

He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"?

"We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived", the mother replies.

The mother paused and said to her son...

"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious"

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun...

- Cowboy: Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?

- Indian: Dog no talk.

- Cowboy: Hey dog, how's it going?

- Dog: Doin' alright.

Indian: shows extreme look of shock

- Cowboy: Is this Indian your owner? (pointing at Indian)

- Dog: Yep

- Cowboy: How does he treat you?

- Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.

Indian: shows look of disbelief

- Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your horse?

- Indian: Horse no talk.

- Cowboy: Hey horse, how's it going?

- Horse: Cool.

Indian: extreme look of shock

- Cowboy: Is this your owner? (pointing at Indian)

- Horse: Yep.

- Cowboy: How's he treat you?

- Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

Indian: shows total look of amazement

- Cowboy: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

- Indian: Sheep Lie!

Once upon a time there were five apples
Which was the cowboy?
→ None - because they were all redskins.

One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, "Buffalo Come!"

And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"

Tonto replied, "Ear stuck to ground..."

Spell Indian tent with two letters.
→ TP.