Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?
→ A last name....... Were you thinking of something else?
Why did the Priest go to Walmart?
→ He wanted to get boys pants "half" off!
Here's a lame one....
What is Homer Simpson's favorite ice cream?
→ Chocolate-chip cookie DOH!
Why does Mary Lou Retton smile so much?
→ Because she found out what the big boys eat.
A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life.
While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to get his sheep across the road. She stopped her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her first good deed.
After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer, "your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many there are, could I have one."
The farmer thought it impossible and told the blonde it was okay."637", said the blonde.
The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact number, but lived up to his bargain.
"I'll take that feisty one over there", said the blonde.
Then the farmer said to the blonde, "Okay, now if I guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
→ So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
I had my appendix removed. There was nothing wrong with it, I just did it as a warning to the other organs in my body to shape up or they're out of there.
Charlie Viracola
What do you get when you cross a Rooster with an owl?
→ A Cock that can stay up all night!!
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
