School — most commented jokes

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?
→ Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?
→ Because there's lots of school spirit!

'You never get anything right,' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school?'
'Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.'

- School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis?

- Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.

"Please, ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"

The teacher was rather bewildered. "Don't you mean Michael?" she asked. "No, ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."

Where do religious school children practice sports?
→ In the prayground!

- Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?

- Pupil: That's not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school