Relationships — most commented jokes

Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
→ No phone numbers.

Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner?
→ In the pages of a romance novel.

Man walks into a supermarket and buys:

• 1 bar of soap
• 1 toothbrush
• 1 tube toothpaste
• 1 loaf of bread
• 1 pint of milk
• 1 single serving cereal
• 1 single serving frozen dinner

The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?"

The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?"

She replies "because you're ugly."

IDEAL DATE

• At 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
• At 25 "Split the check before we go back to my place"
• At 35 "Just come over."
• At 48 "Just come over and cook."
• At 66 Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.

Age Line

• 17 My parents are away for the weekend.
• 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
• 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
• 48 My wife is away for the weekend.
• 66 My second wife is dead.

When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with big breasts...

In high school, I dated a girl with big breasts, but there was no passion.. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.. Everything was an emergency, she cried all the time. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.. I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She never got excited about anything. So I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.. I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She was directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.. After college, I found an ambitious girl and married her. She was so ambitious, she divorced me and took everything I owned.. Now all I want is a girl with big breasts..

"Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?" asked John.

"Yes, I will." Paula replied.

"Would you do it for one thousand?" he asked.

"Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you." she answered with a wink.

"How about a blowjob for $20?" responded John.

"Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?" Paula snapped, indignantly.

"That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the price!"

If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you.

Judy arrived home from her date, tossed her coat over a chair, her handbag over the banister, she threw her clothes around the bedroom without care. The next morning at breakfast, her mother asked her if she had a good time?

"Oh", sighed Judy, "I had a wonderful time."

"I thought as much", her mother remarked, "Your underpants are still stuck to the ceiling!"

What's the quickest way to a woman's heart?
→ Straight through the rib cage.