Redneck Jokes — most commented jokes

You might be a redneck if...
You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You might be a redneck if...
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You might be a redneck if...
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

How can you determine that a death certificate was filled by a redneck doctor?
→ He signs "his" name under "cause of death!"

Two country doctors out in the hills of West Virginia were discussing the population explosion in the world.

One physician says, "Why, Bubba, thiseyer crazy birth thang isa gettin' so bad that perty soon, they ain't gonna be room for ever'body! There'sa gonna be standin' room only on this here planet!"

The other doctor replied, "Heck, that sure oughta slow 'em down a bit!"

In the middle of his honeymoon, the young hillbilly bridegroom left his bride back at the hotel and shows up at his parents house completely distraught. His father asks him, "Son, why you not with you bride on you honeymoon?"

The boy replies, "Daddy I was jus' gettin ready to love my bride when she tell me she want me to know she a virgin. So I come to ask what do I do?"

The father says, "Boy don' be tellin me you don' know what do wid a womin, specially a virgin.."

The boy says, "Daddy, course I knows what to do wid a woman, but dis be ma wife." The father replies, "So what difference dis make?" To which the son says, "Well daddy, I jus got to figure if she ain't good nuff for her own family she shore ain't good enough for ours!"

Down in Arkansas, they say that custom has changed little. Many a man still sleeps with a battle-axe by his side.

You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

You know you're a redneck when you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.