Ouch — most commented jokes

Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time?
→ It was a dead heat.

Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary?
→ It was a dead end job.

- First ghoul: You don't look too well today.

- Second ghoul: No, I'm dead on my feet.

What do you find in a zombie's veins?
→ Dead blood corpuscles.

What's a zombie's favorite pop song?
→ Dead sails in the sunset.

What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years?
→ Pete.

What has four legs, a tail, whiskers and flies?
→ A dead cat.

What is the difference between a musician and a dead body?
→ One composes and the other decomposes.

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?
→ A dead centipede.

These two friends are about to go to a club.
One of them has a wooden eye. He said "If someone says something about my eye, i'm gonna snap." They get there, and he asks a girl to dance. She says, "Would I?"