Random joke from this category
- Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed.
- You should cut down on drinks.
- I don't touch a drop.
- You should cut down on smoking.
- I don't smoke.
- You should stop taking drugs.
- I don't do drugs.
- You should cut down on womanizing.
- Haven't touched a woman in my life.
- In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends!
- Tell me, doctor. Is it serious?
- Well, I wouldn't advise you to start watching any serials on TV.
- What seems to be the trouble?
- Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
- What seems to be the trouble?
- Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
- No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
- Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?
- Shhh, doctor! My dog's outside in the waiting room!
- Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out.
- That's easy. Eat shit!
- Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!!!
- Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!
- My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.
- Oh, really?
- Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!
- How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
- Cut your head off!
- Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
- I am, bit by bit!
