Medicine — most commented jokes

- You seem to be in excellent health. Your pulse is as regular as clockwork.

- That's because you've got your hand on my watch!

- Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!

- Well tell her to come in

- I can't she doesn't stop at this floor!

- Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking?

- Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire.

- Necks please!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog

- What's wrong with that

- I think I'm going to croak

- Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.

- Yes I can see you're not all there!

- Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen

- Well sit down and write your name!

- Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet

- Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!

- Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake

- Sleep in another room then!

- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains

- Well pull yourself together then