Kids Jokes — most commented jokes

One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP! HELP!' When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, 'I want a boat.' The second boy said 'I want a truck.' And the third boy said, 'I want three tombstones with are names all on them.' Bill Clinton said, 'why is that son?' The little boy said, 'because when my Dad finds out that we saved you, he is going to kill us all!'

One Friday morning, a teacher came up with a novel way to motivate her class. She told them that she would read a quote and the first student to correctly identify who said it would receive the rest of the day off.

She started with "This was England's finest hour." Little Suzy instantly jumped up and said, "Winston Churchill."

"Congratulations," said the teacher, "you may go home early."

The teacher then said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but.." Before she could finish the quote, another young lady belts out, "John F. Kennedy!"

"Very good," says the teacher, "you may go also."

Irritated that he has missed two golden opportunities, Little Johnny said, "I wish those girls would just shut up."

Upon overhearing this comment, the outraged teacher demanded to know who said it. Johnny instantly rose to his feet and said, "Bill Clinton. I'll see you Monday."

"What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming over to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out.

"I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!" So the old man sat down and wept too.

Should I have a baby after 35?
→ No, 35 children is enough.

Why do little girls carry goldfish in their pockets?
→ To smell like big girls.

The boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between a 'cunt' and a 'pussy'?"

The dad gets a Penthouse magazine, draws a circle around a crotch and says: "Everything inside the circle is a 'pussy', everything outside the circle is a 'cunt'"

A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?"

Father responds, "Well son, before or after sex?"
Son, "Well, before?"
Father, "Picture a tulip with all the petals son."
Son, "Well what about after?"
Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!"

A woman came to the psychiatrist worried. "Doctor," she said, "I can't sleep at night. When I'm in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won't hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?"

"Easy," said the doctor. "Just take the carpet off the floor."

Through the kitchen window a farmer's wife sees her son coming home from school. The boy's in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks a little further and kicks a cow. Once inside, his mother says, "I saw what you did, young man! For kicking the pig you'll get no bacon for a week, and for kicking the cow, no milk for a week."

Just at that moment, the boy's father walks through the door and boots the cat halfway across the room.

The boy looks at his mother and says, "Do you wanna tell him, or should I?"

There is this French couple, sitting up talking, when the wife says to the husband that it was time he had a conversation with their thirteen year old son about the birds and the bees. So the father goes to his son's room and says "Son do you remember that session I arranged for you with mademoiselle Ginette ?" "Oh yes papa, I remember very well" says the son. "Well son it is time you knew that the birds and the bees do the same thing"