Gender Jokes — most commented jokes

Two men are discussing the age old question: who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman? A woman walks by and listens in for awhile and then interrupts: "Listen you guys. You know when your ear itches and you put in your little finger and wiggle it around for awhile? Afterward, which feels better, your finger or your ear?"

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
→ So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Two groups of computer experts were set up in order to find out whether computer is male or female: one group was male, and the other group was female.

The group of women reported that computers should be refereed to as "HE" because:

1. In order to get their attention you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a newer and better model.

The group of men reported that computers should be refered to as "SHE" because:

1. No one but the creator understands their logic.
2. The native language they use to talk to other computers is incomprehensible to anyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Are computers males or females? You decide.

TOP 5 REASONS WHY COMPUTERS MUST BE MALE:

5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.
6. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.
7. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.
8. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an under powered system.
9. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.

FIVE REASONS COMPUTERS MUST BE FEMALE:

5. No one but their creator understands their logic.
6. Even the smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
7. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
8. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
9. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Little Lucy was playing in the garden when she spotted two spiders mating.

- Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?

- They're mating, Lucy - he replied.

- What do you call the spider on top Daddy? - Lucy asked.

- Oh, that's a Daddy Longlegs.

Lucy asked:

- Oh, so one's a Daddy Longlegs and the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?

Daddy replied:

- No, both of them are Daddy Longlegs.

Lucy thought for a moment, then took her foot and stamped them flat.

- Well, we're not having THAT sort of thing in our garden!!

How do you make a gay baby cry?
→ Take the pacifier out of his ass.

An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8 year old girls house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys game, and only boys can have a football!". The little girl runs into the house and cries to her mother, "I want a football!" Being a woman of the 90's, her mother runs out and gets her one. The next day the girl is waiting for the little boy and he rides up on his bike. She holds up the football, "Nah Nah Nah Nah". The little boy angryly points to his bike and says, "Oh yeah, well this is a boys bike and only boys get boys bikes and you can't have one!" She runs in to mom and the next day is waiting for him on her new boys bike. The little boy gets furious and pulls down his pants, and pointing to his most private of parts says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!!!". The next day he walks by and asks her, "Well, I guess I showed you!" to which she promptly pulls up her dress, points to her parts and proclaims "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these I can have as many of THOSE as I want!

A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her:

- How is it that you know so much about baseball?

She says:

- Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change.

The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process:

- What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut IT off?

- That was very painful, but was not the most painful part.

- Was it when they cut off your balls?

- That was very painful, but was not the most painful part.

- What was the most painful part?

- The part that hurt the most was when they cut my salary in half!