Food Jokes — most commented jokes

What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
→ Proof reading.

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
→ "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
→ She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach.

The girl lobster suggested that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone.

Having purchased two cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished the ice cream, he realized that his girlfriend's had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it too.

When he arrived back at the beach Ms Lobster exclaimed "Where's my ice cream cone?"

"Well," he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too."

She was incensed and cried "You shellfish bastard!!"

It was just another day and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. I whipped out my Million Dollar Bar and whispered "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like Crunch on My Big Hunk" she replied "Oh Henry, what a Whopper."

Well she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll and it was pure Almond Joy. I couldn't resist her Charms and reached out and grabbed her Mounds, it was easy to see this little Twix had the Red Hots for me. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger slipped into her tight little Kit Kat as she screamed "Oh Henry, Oh Henry" soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and Zagnut's. It wasn't long before I blew my Milk Duds to Mars, which gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked about M&M, but I said "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff you little Reese's pieces.

Don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you grab my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed "Oh you Cracker Jack, better than the Three Muskteers" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty when all of a sudden...my Starburst! Yeah as luck would have it she started to get Chunky, complained of a Wrigley in her stomach and nine months later out popped "BABY RUTH."

A recent survey carried out by a leading soft drink manufacturer in Disneyland produced some strange results.

Mickey Mouse like Coca-Cola, while Minnie prefers Pepsi.

Donald Duck likes Dr. Pepper, while Daisy prefers RootBeer.

Pluto likes plain old lemonade, as does Goofy.

But Snow White adores 7up.

How did Black eye peas get their name?
→ They were fighting over the Chick peas!

Why did the jellybean jump off the cliff?
→ Because he wanted to be a smarty!

A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and says "Hey bartender give me a beer".

The bartender says - "I'm sorry we don't serve food here".

Yo mamma is such a bad cook that even the cockroaches throw up!