Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

Whats a lesbian dinosaur?
→ A lickalotofpuss !

Whats a gay dinosaur?
→ A lickdicknopuss !

A lady says to her doctor:

- My husband has been complaining that my vagina has an odor, but I bent over and took a whiff, and I don't smell anything.

The doctor examines her, and then says:

- You need an operation.

She asks:

- On my vagina?

He says:

- No. On your nose!

How do you castrate a hillbilly?
→ Kick his sister in the mouth!

A doctor from Canada was having an affair with one of his female co-workers.

One day she announced to him that she was pregnant with his child. The doctor gave her enough money to fly to California and live their until the child was born. He gave her instructions to send him a postcard with the word SAURKRAUT on it when she gave birth.

About nine months later the doctor arrived home when his wife handed him a postcard.

- Here - she said.

- This came in the mail today.

The doctor took the postcard and it read... SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT!

How can you compare a lite beer to making love in a canoe?
→ It's fucking close to water!

The young Indian boy had spent most of his life in a quandry... He felt different yet... couldn't figure why... he was just so depressed. He went to the Chief for answers... He asked the chief how his brother Red Deer Running had gotten his name...

The chief answered in his typically poetic way:

- When Red Deer Running was born, at the moment of his birth, the first thing his mother saw was a beautiful deer running off into the forest... and so Running Deer was named. It is the custom of our tribe to name the offspring according to the spirits in nature visiting upon the birth.

Then, the boy said to the Chief... And how did my sister "Thundering Bird" get her name? The chief described again, how at the moment of her birth Thundering Bird's mother had heard a roar of thunder and looking up, saw a bird flying in the sky...

The boy asked again, how his cousin "White Crouching Bear" had been given such a name... And the chief, looking down once more at the boy, explaining the traditions of their tribe.... White Bear's mother had seen a rare white bear crouched over a stream at the moment her baby's birth. Then he asked the boy:

- Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?

One night a boy wakes up and goes into his parents room and they're having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says:

- we're playing poker - and the mother says:

- & I'm his partner.

He then goes into his grandparents room and asks what they're doing. The grandfather says:

- We're playing poker - and the grandmother says:

- & I'm his partner.

He then goes into his brothers room and he's wanking. He asks what he's doing. The brother says:

- I'm playing poker.

The other brother asks why he doesn't have a partner and the brother replies:

- You don't need a partner if you have a good hand !

Three men meet up on the deck of the rapidly sinking Titanic, a Lawyer, a Catholic Priest and a Social Worker.

They notice that there are only three seats left on the last lifeboat and there are three children standing nearby.

- Social worker: We should give these seats to the children.

- Lawyer: Dont be stupid, fuck the children!

- Catholic priest: Do you really think we've got time?

A man was out driving in his car when all of a sudden a rooster ran out in front of his car, he tried to miss it but unfortunately he ran over the rooster & killed it.

He decided that he should go & tell the farmer, so he got out of his car & walked across the road to the farm, walked up to the front door & knocked, the farmer came to the door & the man said:

- I'm afraid I've killed your rooster, please let me replace him.

The farmer said:

- Help yourself, the hens are out in the back.

A few weeks before Christmas a very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls.

It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained to her she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.

On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut it down because one worker couldn't keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part, but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her. Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.

The boss could not control his laughter and said:

- Lady, I said to give each doll Two ---- "Test" ---- Tickles.