Dirty Jokes — most commented jokes

What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
→ "Have another beer."

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
→ Her ankles.

How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
→ The joystick is wet.

Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong.

"I'll never understand women" said Joe. "The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted."

"Wow! That's quite some gift" said the bartender. "So why are you so dejected?"

"Well I thought about it for a while" said Joe, "and decided to send her home to her mother, and now she won't even speak to me!"

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a 'thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: 'You can get from me whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

What's the difference between a peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath?
→ One is rude and nosey.
The other is nude and rosey!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Hippie Barbie ...complete with simulated controlled substances and paraphernalia

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Death Row Barbie ...comes complete with cell; raunchy cellmate sold separately

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?" she asked.

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said.

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"

The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.

Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"

"Yup, shore am!"

"How much does he weigh now?"

The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."

The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."

The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"