Celebrities — most commented jokes

Frank Sinatra, "Old Blue Eyes," has died.

Frank will now be known as "Old Closed Eyes."

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.

"Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.

As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

"What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.

"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger.

"Fookin Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW thinks of everything!"

Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
→ Two 5 year olds.

What's black and white and comes in little cans?
→ Michael Jackson

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
→ The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out

Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt. "Superman don't need no seat belt," Ali growled. "Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane!"

What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
→ He was allergic to carrots.

If Britney Spears and Fat Bastard mated, the resulting child would be: Anna Nicole Smith.

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"

After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."

This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"

"Well, God is both black and white."

This further confuses him so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"

At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."

At this Little Johnny's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God Michael Jackson?"

What do you call a man with a blackhead on his dick?
→ Hugh Grant.