Celebrities — most commented jokes

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None--He'll only promise "change."

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.

How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies?
→ He's the stiff one.

Who sings "Love me tender", and makes Christmas toys?
→ Santa's little Elvis.

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
→ An a-cat-emy award.

Personally, I like to stay and read the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people began rushing for the exits, I shouted: "Quick! There are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!"

Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
→ He thought he would give him a paunch!

Why won't cannibals eat Frank Sinatra?
→ Because he's always coming back!

Why don't cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis?
→ He gives them runs!

Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie director?
→ Sizzle B. DeMille!