Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.

For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.

- When you and I get out of here, - the jailbird said to the fly, - we're going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune.

Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate.

At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking.

- What about this fly, eh? - he said to the bartender.

In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper THE EDMONTON SUN, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe.

- Glad you saw it, - muttered the bartender.

- Blasted things are everywhere.

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby.

- Say, farmer. Is that bull safe?

- Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
→ Because their horns don't work.

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
→ An udder failure!

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
→ Laughing stock.

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
→ Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..

A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.

- Davy, what noise does a cow make?

- It goes moo.

- Alice, what noise does a cat make?

- It goes meow.

- Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?

- It goes baaa.

- Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?

- Errr.., it goes.. click!

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

- Mother: What does the cow say?

- Child: Moo!

- Mother: Great! What does the cat say?

- Child: Meow.

- Mother: Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?

And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied:

- Bud.

Where did the kittens go on their class trip?
→ To a mewseum.

When is a bad time to cross a black cat?
→ When you are a mouse!