Animal Jokes — most commented jokes

If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
→ The swallow.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?
→ A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
→ Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner?
→ 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!

What does a blonde and a turtle have in common?
→ If either one of them end up on there back they are both f*cked.

A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go Bear hunting.
He tells his wife:

- You've got three choices; you can go Bear hunting with me, I'll do you anally or you can give me a blowjob. I'm gonna load up the truck and get the dog out.

- Make up your mind before I get back.

The man returns twenty minutes later and says:

- Well what's it gonna be?

She say's:

- There's no way I'm going Bear hunting and you're not doing my ass so I guess it's a blowjob.

A couple minutes later she starts choking and spitting and says:

- Jesus, you taste like shit.

- Oh yeah - he replies - The dog didn't want to go Bear hunting' either.

Winnie and Piglet sit on the bank of the river and smoke dope.
A crocodile comes out of the river:

- Hey pals, let me have a whiff.

- Get lost, oh green one!

- Come on guys, just one!

- Go %@~# yourself!

So what would you do? Well, the crocodile swallows Piglet and sits in his place.
Winnie, inhaling, is holding the butt out to Piglet and suddenly sees a crocodile.

- W-ell, it seems enough for you, pig!

Winnie-the-Pooh is eating a roll. Piglet arrives.

- Give me some roll, Winnie!

- It's not a roll, it's a bun.

- Give me some bun, Winnie!

- It's not a bun, it's a bap.

- Give me some bap, Winnie!

- Get lost, you pig! Stop being such a pain in the neck! You can't even make up your mind!

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
→ A cock that stays up all night.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
→ Because they have cotton balls.