Tim once took his small cousin with him while he went fishing: When he returned, he was looking very fed up.
- I'll never do that again - he complained to his Dad.
- Did she frighten off the fish? - enquired Dad.
- No - replied Tim.
- She sat on the bank and ate all my maggots.
What kind of musical instrument can you use for fishing?
→ The cast-a-net.
The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked:
- How many have you caught?
- You're the tenth this morning - was the reply.
An old lady saw a little boy with a fishing-rod over his shoulder and a jar of tadpoles in his hand walking through the park one Sunday. "Little boy," she called, "don't you know you shouldn't go fishing on a Sunday?" "I'm not going fishing, ma'am," he called back, "I'm going home."
Retired colonel, talking of the good old days:
- Have you ever hunted bear?
- His grandson's teacher: No, but I've been fishing in shorts.
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had any bites?" asked the second man. "Yes, lots," replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes."
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One, but you should have seen the bulb, it must have been THIS big.
MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by.
- What are ye doing? - asked O'Bannon.
- Fishin' - said MacAndrews.
- Caught anything?
- Ach, nae a bite,
- What are ye usin' fer bait?
- Worms
- Let me see it - said O'Bannon.
MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin.
O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out.
- Have ye got a bite? - asked O'Bannon.
- No! The worm's got a salmon by the throat! - shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod.
Three guys were fishing in a lake one day, when an angel appeared in the boat.
When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked the angel humbly:
- I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam War ... Could you help me?
- Of course - the angel said, and when he touched the man's back, the man felt relief for the first time in years.
The second guy who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving. He asked if the angel could do anything about his poor eyesight. The angel smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them into the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly.
When the angel turned to the third guy, the guy put his hands out defensively:
- Don't touch me! I'm on a disability pension. - he cried.
A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father:
- How does this boat float?
The father replied:
- Don't rightly know son.
A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked:
- How do fish breath underwater?
Once again the father replied:
- Don't rightly know son.
A little later the boy asked his father:
- Why is the sky blue?
Again, the father repied:
- Don't rightly know son.
Finally, the boy asked his father:
- Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?
The father replied:
- Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'.
