Most commented jokes

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating:

- Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?

The first man approached him and said:

- Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied:

- My wife's first husband.

A mother and her child were at a wedding.

A little boy looks at his mom and says:

- Mommy, why does the girl wear white?

His mom replies:

- The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life.

The boy thinks about this, and then says:

- Well then, why is the boy wearing black?

A biologist phones his wife from his office and says:

- Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up.

A week later he returned.

- Did you have a good trip, dear? - his wife asked.

- Oh, it was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work - he exclaimed, and added:

- But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas.

- No I didn't - she replied - I put them in the box of field equipment!

- Cash, check or charge? - I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse.

- Do you always carry your TV remote? - I asked.

- No - she replied - But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked:

- You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?

- Why?

- Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.

- Well - says the old fellow - I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and we have then have fun together laughing and relaxing. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make fun together laughing and relaxing again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we relax more and enjoy ourselves.

The policeman looks at the old man and says:

- You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!

So the old man says:

- I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!

- Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.

- Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

- Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?

- Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.

The father replies:

- My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.

He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.

He asks the girl:

- Do you like spinach?

She says:

- No, and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks:

- Do you have a brother?

Again, the girl says:

- No, and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question:

- If you had a brother, would he like spinach?

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.

One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night!

She went on and on and wouldn't stop!

The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen.

How do you do that? Says the other.

It's easy! I turn off the light!