Most commented jokes

There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and sez:

- Well... What about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?

- Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees. - he bragged and took another sip of beer.

His friends were amazed! - What happened then? - they asked, almost in unison.

- Well, then she said, 'Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!' - he admitted.

I know a husband and wife who have separate bedrooms, drive different cars, take separate vacations, work different shifts, have their own computers, and even have their own ISPs, separate e-mail addresses and Home Pages. They say they're doing everything they can to keep their marriage together.

A lady with a large flowery hat was stopped at the church door by the usher.

- Are you a friend of the bride? - he asked.

- Certainly not, - she snapped.

- I'm the groom's mother.

A student engineer in the office got engaged some time ago. At her wedding, I was reminding her of the first day she wore her ring. None of the other women in the office even noticed.

Finally, in sheer and total exasperation, she said:

- Boy!!! It's so warm in here today, I think I'll take off my ring.

A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked:

- Does this fellow have any money?

The daughter shook her head sadly.

- Oh Daddy! You men are all alike. - sighing deeply, she replied.

- That's exactly what he asked me about you.

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married.

- But you just had two weeks off, - said the boss.

- Why didn't you get married then?

- What and ruin my vacation? - she whined.

Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and sneered:

- You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The wife simply sighed and replied:

- Yes, dear, I know, but I was in love and didn't really notice.

A man happened to meet his ex-wife at a party, and after a few drinks, he suggested that they might have another try at marriage. His ex-wife sneered in reply:

- Over my dead body!

He downed his drink and replied:

- Well, I see you haven't changed one little bit.

Lee was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When he was asked the reason for his haste he shivered and replied: "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in the payments to that witch, she might well try to repossess me."

After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, "You know what I really feel like honey?" "Well sure," she blushed, "But we gotta eat sometime!"