Most commented jokes

One Sunday, the pope REALLY wanted to play golf.

But he couldn't, since it was Sunday. But he figured, well, it's ok if i just play a little bit.

So he changed clothes and went out into the green.

Up in heaven an angel saw him and reported it to Jesus. However, Jesus didn't do anything when he told him. "Aren't you going to punish him?" he asked Jesus. "Yes, just wait." he replied.

Just then the pope hit a beautiful hole in one.

- Well, that's not a punishment! - the angel said in disgust.

"Who is he going to tell?"

A minister was asked by a politician:

- Name something the government can do to help the church.

The minister replied:

- Quit making one dollar bills.

What language do the Vatican Police speak?
→ Pig Latin!

Two nuns turn up at the fruit market and ask the veggie man for 120 cucumbers. The guy advises: "Sisters, if you buy 3 crates, that's 150, you'll get a 25% discount!" The nuns look at each other, and after a prolonged period of thinking one whispers to the other: "We could eat the 30, I suppose."

What is the meaning of life?
→ All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.

Is there a God?
→ A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said:

- Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?

The Vicar said:

- Good morning my man, I am fine, the wife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking.

The villager said:

- Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck 'em!

What do you get when you cross a Jehova's Witness with a Hell's Angels motorcycle gang member????
→ Someone who comes to your door and tells you to fuck off!

Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day.

They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were 4 for a dollar. The nuns said okay.

The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them.

A nun answered back:

- Well, we could alway eat one.

This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house, he was told that the only way he could play today was if he was willing to play along with three nuns. He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. At the first hole he said, after you, and the nuns insisted that he go first. He took a giant swing and sliced it into a nearby bunker.

- Goddammit! - he said.

The nun said:

- Oh, my, please refrain from using that kind of language around us.

- I'm so sorry, ma'am, it won't happen again.

The nun gets up to the tee and her ball travels about twenty yards, hits a tree, and bounces back behind them.

The nun exclaims:

- Well shit, Goddamn, hell, fuck!

The man asks:

- Hey, what did you tell me about that?

- Yeah, well, you didn't hit a fuckin' tree.