Most commented jokes

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor.

- Do you wash? - the doctor asked the smelly young girl.

- Oh, yes - Mary answered.

- Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible.

- Well - the doctor concluded.

- Go home and wash 'possible'!!!

Ther was this Indian chief, and he had three wives. They slept in the same tent. One on a bear skin, one on a buffalo skin and one on a hippopotamus skin.

After a time the three had children. The one that slept on the bear skin had a baby boy, the one on the buffalo skin had a baby girl, and the one on the hippopotamus skin had a baby boy and a baby girl, proving that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the sqaws on the other two hides!!!

One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked:

- George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?

- Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did - advised George.

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.

- Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

- Cut taxes and reduce the size of government - advised Tom.

Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw another figure moving in the shadows.

It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.

- Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

And Abe replied:

- Go to the theater!

Why do black men not go square dancing?
→ Every time some one yells "hoe down", they turn to see if their sister got shot!

What do u call a black priest?
→ Holy shit!!

A man walks into the bar and orders 2 shots of whiskey and the man drinks one and pours the other shot in his hand, the man did this 3 times before the bartender finally asks him ----why is it you drink 1 shot and pour the other in your hand.

The man replies, I'm getting my girl friend drunk!

- Student: Can I use the bathroom?

- Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC's.

- Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

- Teacher: Where's the P?

- Student: Its running down my leg!

Whats the most embrassing thing for a cheerleader?
→ When she does the splits and 8 class rings fall out!

You Know You're in New York City When...

1. Nuns walk down the street carrying automatic weapons.
2. You can run into the corner deli and have an eat-in lunch with dessert in the time it takes to cross the intersection of 8th and 42nd at rush hour.
3. A flying saucer can pass overhead and you hear the locals say, "Ack. More damned aliens."
4. The aroma of smoked meat is able to counteract the smell of smog and pollution.
5. The priest in the cadillac behind you gives you the finger for cutting him off.
6. You pass a convenience store advertising "Free green cards, no questions asked."
7. The gas station attendants actually speak English.
8. The unearthly pounding of the cranked up bass in the El Camino next to you is drowned out by the cabs honking their horns.
9. A person with rainbow striped hair can pass by without anyone staring.
10. The bumper sticker on the senior citizen's car in front of you reads, "Warning: I break for pedestrians."

A woman goes to the doctor's and says:

- Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me. Every time I go to the bathroom, DIMES come out!

The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week.

A week later the woman returns and says:

- Doctor, Doctor, it's gotten worse! Every time I go to the bathroom, QUARTERS come out!! What's wrong with me?

Again the doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week. Another week passes and the woman returns and yells:

- Doctor, Doctor, I'm still not getting better! Every time I go to the bathroom, HALF-DOLLARS come out! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!!

The doctor says:

- Relax, Relax,... you're just going through your change!