Two polish guys walk into a bar and sit down on the stools. All of a sudden, they start masturbating furiously, until the bar owner comes along and screams, "HEY, what the FUCK are you guys doing?!".. and one of the guys says, "the sign says: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE"
What is Monica's favorite chinese food?
→ Cream of sum young guy.
What did the salad say when the cabbage interrupted their meal?
→ Lettuce alone!
In the United States alone, there are over 10,000 cases of battered women.
And to think... all this time, I have been eating mine plain!
What goes "errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh"?
→ A blonde at a blinking red light!
What do you call a blonde that dies her hair Brown?
→ Artificial intelligence!
What is green, has four legs, and smells like Monica Lewinsky?
→ The pool table in the oval office!
The president was trying to keep his presidential promise by putting more women on his staff.
If your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts complaining, what does that mean?
→ Her chain is to long!
BANNED CHILDREN'S BOOKS
- Dad's New Wife Timothy
- Pop! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games
- How to Become the Dominant Military Power In Your Elementary School
- Safe Sex and the Zip-Lock Bag
- Testing Homemade Parachutes With Nothing At All But Your Household Pets
- Egghead - and Other Things Mrs. Dumpty Gave Humpty
- The Complete Set Of "Mother Got Goosed" Nursery Rhymes
- Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures
- The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad
- The Tickling Babysitter
- Babar Meets the Taxidermist
- Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear
- Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
- The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
- Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Mom's Purse
- The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy
- Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
- Let's Draw Betty and Veronica Without Their Clothes On
- The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead
- How to Insert Sharp Objects into Your Ear
- When is Later?
- The Beanie Babies and the Putrid Odor
- Why Mommy and Daddy Are Bouncing on the Bed
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Get Kinky
- Rin Tin Tin Guards the Herd of Sheep
- How Far is Not Far?
- Three Men in a Tub - The Untold Story
- The Boy Who Cried "Fire!"
- Things Rat Poison Looks Like
- Why Uncle Bud Falls Down
- Two Fingers in the Dike
- Back To School! A Munitions Primer
- Jack and Jill and Ted and Alice
- Things That Are Really Sharp
- How Dopey Got His Name
- Spinach or Steroids - A Guide to Scholarships
