Travel Jokes — most commented jokes

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.

Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?

What birds are found in Portugal?
→ Portu-geese!

The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board, but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.

A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. 'Can you give me a room and bath?' he asked the clerk.
'I can give you a room,' the clerk said. 'But you'll have to take the bath by yourself!'

- Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath?

- Rick: I use soap and water, personally.

- Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please?

- Porter: I can give you a room, but you'll have to wash yourself.

A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink.
He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.

The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?"

The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11.
Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?"

"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh, "they're all mine."

The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?"

"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."