Random joke from this category
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
If you cloned Henry IV, would he be Henry V, or Henry IV Part II?
What do a meteorologist in a snowstormand a woman's sex life have in common?
They're both concerned with how manyinches and how long it will last.
An academic problemIn a high school gym class, all the girls are lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Every ten seconds, they walk toward each other exactly half the remaining distance between them. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?" Mathematician: "Never." Physicist: "In an infinite amount of time." Engineer: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes."
If a tree falls in the forest, and there's noone there to hear it, does it make a sound?
Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.
If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule.
If we accept "For every rule there is an exception" as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception tothe rule that for every rule there is an exception.
"Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible." "If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump."
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous systems many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Handy guide to modern science:If it's green or wriggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
