Random joke from this category
The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains.
One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early.
But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled, 'Time to get up.'
And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!
An engineer, an experimental physicist, a theoretical physicist, and a philosopher were hiking through the hills of Scotland. Cresting the top of one hill, they see, on top of the next, a black sheep. The engineer says: "What do you know, the sheep in Scotland are black." "Well, some of the sheep in Scotland are black," replies the experimental physicist. The theoretical physicist considers this for a moment and says "Well, at least one of the sheep in Scotland is black." "Well," the philosopher responds, "on one side, anyway."
How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. Social scientists do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.
How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is.
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"
"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."
A doctor, an engineer, and a fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates. The doctor said how he'd healed the sick, helped the lame; but he was a sinner and was sent to Hell.
The engineer told how he'd built homes for the homeless, etc.; but he messed up the environment, so he was sent to Hell.
The fungal taxonomist was frightened by all this, but as soon as he mentioned his occupation, God said "You've already been thru Hell, Welcome to Heaven."
What do you call a proton with big hair?
→ A 'froton.
What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
→ An amoeboo!
What do you call an egg from outer space?
→ An unidentified flying omelet!
What can you make from baked beans and onions?
→ Tear gas.
