School — most commented jokes

Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. 'Whatever's the matter?' asked her mother.
'I don't know,' replied Mary, 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

- I told you not eat cake before supper.

- But, Mum, it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left.

On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other.

'I come from a one-parent family,' said one little girl proudly.

'That's nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent family!'

A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain,' she said.

'I hope your first name is not Agnate?'

'No, it's velvet!'

Two girls were talking in the corridor.

'That boy over there is getting on my nerves,' said Clarrie.

'But he's not even looking at you,' replied Clara.

'That's what's getting on my nerves,' retorted Clarrie.

- Fred: Where does the new kid come from?

- Harry: Alaska.

- Fred: Don't bother - I'll ask her myself.

- Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?

- Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out, "Happy!"

Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf, which was great for the children in her class.
"What Mrs Smith needs," said one of her colleagues, "is a herring-aid."

Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.
So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused.

Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Tyler to be quick.
Five minutes later Tyler returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it," he admitted.

The teacher sat Tyler down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Tyler looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

Well, five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at the school for a while, to help him find the bathroom.

So, Tommy and Tyler go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats.

The teacher asks Tommy, "Well, did you find it?" Tommy is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."